I will miss going to the mountains in the fall to see the change in the colors of the leaves on the trees. I will miss that about the Southern portion of the United States. Being in Mexico, there is not a lot of plush landscape even in the mountain areas where I live. The area where I live doesn’t greatly fluctuate in temperature so the seasons are not as obvious, visually.

But in the South Carolina and North Carolina mountains, the scenery is beautiful in the fall. The colors are bright and you can see orange, yellow, and red mixed in with green and brown. It is a spectacular view for those who have never seen it before.

I have been married for over 21 years now and have experienced many seasons in my marriage. There have been ups and downs, but more ups than downs. The Winter seasons in marriage can appear cold and dead, but if you understand that it is only a season, you are more likely to hold on to see the marriage bloom in the Spring. I have seen many Springs in my marriage and I can tell you that rarely there is a Winter. This is because when you see Winter approaching, sometimes you have to drive further South to keep things from turning brown.

Obviously, this is a metaphor but the same goes for keeping a marriage alive. You have to fight for your spouse and many times that fighting is loving your spouse more. The details are important. Bringing flowers to your wife is great, but what are flowers worth if you are not helping around the house? What are flowers worth if you are not around for your children? What are flowers worth if you are not paying attention to the things that matter most to your wife? Most of loving your wife consists of paying attention to the intricacies of her life.

Seeing that there is disfunction in your marriage doesn’t always mean that it is because of her. I believe that if you love your wife as Christ loves the church, you will almost always win your marriage. Looking elsewhere for satisfaction in your life only means you are willing to lose.

If you are thinking about other women and what they may bring to your life compared to what you already have, maybe it is because you have given up on your ability to win for your marriage. Winning is not always instantaneous. Winning can take years. I know that Jesus is always battling to win for you and me.

A leaf that is plucked from a tree, slowly dies and degenerates. It may look nice at first, especially in the fall when it changes colors on a tree, but its deception of excitement is just an illusion. Don’t buy into the temptation that cheating on your spouse will turn over a new leaf for you.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.” Ephesians 5:25-29 (NKJV)

“It’s just completely unfair to waste years of a person’s life with duplicity.” -A wife of a husband who used Ashley Madison website (1)

(1) Baraniuk, Chris. “Ashley Madison: Two Women Explain How Hack Changed Their Lives – BBC News.” BBC News. 27 Aug. 2015. Web. 27 Aug. 2015. <http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-34072762>.

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